Even in this modern age, this is one of the critical topic to deal with.Is there anyone who really believes her mother-in -law as her second mother or else daughter -in-law as her daughter? 99% of the answer is 'No'.Why? How come so friendly with some unknown neighbors, but not with their own MIL and DIL..feels very crazy ,isn't?
When a girl is married ,gets a new life,not only with her husband but with so many new relations..MIL,FIL,SIL,his grandparents so and so...She feels very terrified when she enters a new family with butterflies in her stomach,just as the way when we go to watch a horror movie or get into an adventurous roller coaster.. Being depicted in the movies and TV serials, the most cruel villi personified in the house is none other than our MILs.Because the first seed of discontentment starts from marriage ,if it unsatisfied from both the ends.In such cases, new bride feels resentful at the way her parents were squeezed on marriage.In the same way, bride groom family feels the way they were treated in the marriage as an act of insult.So, the first feel of disliking and disagreement starts.
In spite of all,DIL wants to get appreciation and identity from MIL.But if the husband has a sister,particularly younger,DIL is gone. The same aged two girls will have a different treatment.In tamil we say a proverb"oru kannula vennai,maru kannula sunnambu" .The so called experienced,friendly MILs show 100% partiality between the two.Even the small word spilled from DIL's mouth gets a new meaning and effect.The affectionate ,lovable daughter can sleep till 11'0 clock in the morning,but the same aged DIL should have enough capability and responsibility to run the whole family.
Finally,another reason for clash is ,MIL becomes more possessive with her son.An illusionary thinking of separation with her son creates more aversion to her DIL who is blamed for the cause.It is the duty of the MIL to teach their family traditions and values to the newcomer.Everyone in this world has Ego.I agree.The so called experienced 50's ,(with less ego) with their
understanding ,appreciating ,forgiving and forgetting(most important) qualities should put an effort to reduce the problems with their younger DILs.
Finally what we need is "Happy Home and Happy Living".
May be,this article is biased to DIL.After all, I am a human.
Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country ........ Margaret Thatcher
